The Circus

My life is in no means lacklustre, saturated or tame; I love that. I enjoy being the ringleader of my little circus. Usually, when describing something as a circus it insinuates something of a joke; an unmanageable ‘freakshow’. I am not insinuating this. For one, I am not referring to the type of circus that has caged animals, fraudulent acts, and smoke and mirrors. I am referring to a creative showcase that celebrates lights, action, magical moments, and enjoyment. I have experienced all of this in my life, and I am so lucky to have amazing friends and family that complete this blessed bazaar that I get to live.

It is sometimes easy to sit here behind a screen and offload. I have found this process both reflective and therapeutic. It has so far allowed me to take out all my memories and emotions and lay them out for inspection; before giving them a little polish, and then arranging them neatly back in my inner cabinet.

I am a very positive person, but I am also someone who has very high expectations for oneself, as well as very low self-esteem. Brilliant combination right?

This blog is to document my emotions and thought processes during the lead-up to my travels. It is inevitable that I am going to have to dig through my possessions and filter the feelings that I will need to take with me in order to make this experience both a holistic and physical success. By no means do I want this to be scriptures of self-pity and woe, but society is so used to whacking a filter on everything we post on social media these days, and I just don’t want to reflect that in my words. If this is to be a journey in itself prior to the journey, then I need to document bumps and cognitive congestion, as well as the open-roads in order to map out a clear and honest route from start to finish.

Welcome to the circus.

I think, because I have had such a rich tapas of experiences, I am somewhat unsatisfied when settling for one dish. Some may find this uneasy and somewhat indecisive; I don’t.  I wouldn’t say that I am someone that believes that the grass is always greener on the other side. I know that the grass isn’t always greener. I am not bothered about the grass. It is not always about the grass.

There is a whole world out there. Here comes my inner teaching talking. We rely so much on books to feed us the knowledge about the wider world.  We read other people’s experiences about life in order to shape our own.  In the last few years, the national curriculum have promoted that education is to extend from outside the walls of a classroom, and to be taken outdoors; ‘Learning Outside the Classroom’. The report supported by the National Curriculum encourages children to be given the experience of applying what they have learnt within the classroom into the real world, providing them with challenging, exciting and different experiences to help them learn. I love learning. I want to engage in more challenging, exciting and different experience in order for me to learn more about the world, and myself.

I am not unsatisfied with my life. I am so satisfied with what I have achieved. I have accomplished so many exciting experiences thus far:

  • I grew up in Germany.
  • I worked in Bosnia at a children’s refugee camp.
  • In 2016 I ran the London Marathon.
  • I have a BA Hons in Primary Education.
  • In 2013, I was awarded Yamaha’s Unsigned Artist Award.
  • I taught out in Uganda and built a playground for children in a deprived village.
  • I have travelled to a myriad of amazing places in the world.
  • In 2012 I was on a TV show called ‘Showboaters’ which travelled across the Caribbean. I made it to the final four contestants.

I am so grateful for the opportunities that I have worked so hard for, and continue working towards. This is not boasting. This is gratitude. Perhaps the fact that I have exposed myself to these experiences makes me more aware of what is out there to be explored. I am not unsatisfied with life. I am overwhelmed with it. I am excited by it. The vast possibilities; the different flavours, dishes and spices of opportunities that are all available to be served and tasted. A world buffet; a culinary curriculum of culture. I will stay clear of the coconut jelly cubes though…

Roll up, Roll up.

 

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